How to get over an emotionally abusive relationship?

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My ex and I broke up over a year ago. He was emotionally abusive towards me. I never realized this until I started seeing a psychiatrist after we broke up. Anyway, I started going to abuse counseling and I had to stop because I couldn't fit counseling into my hectic schedule. I've been single since we broke up and I've dated a couple of men since then but I never came close to getting into a relationship until recently. I started seeing this really nice guy in October and he's extremely sweet, caring, loving, and kind.

He shows no signs of being abusive and I want to start a relationship with him but I'm scared because of my past experience. He knows about my ex and said he's willing to do whatever it takes to help me get over it. How do I move on with my life?? I can't help but compare him to my ex. He constantly assures me that he wants to be with me and only me but I keep having flashbacks of my ex telling me I'm not worthy of anyone. Can someone please help me! Thank you.
Update:

I WAS abused never once did I abuse my ex. My ex forced me to stop hanging out with my friends and tried to pull me away from my family and anyone that really loved me. He put me down about everything from my hair, my weight, and my career. He told me I wasn't worthy of being loved and that he was the only person that really cared. It was an ongoing cycle with him for almost a year. We broke up got back together, broke up got back together. I put up with the cheating, the lies, and his manipulative ways. So please don't tell me to look at who the abusive one really was.

11 Answers

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Go back to therapy you have issues to deal with.....
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Abusive relationships take a long time to recover from. Look in the mirror and smile.....Anybody and everybody are worthy of being loved so don't cut yourself short. One thing that is hard to do is not to compare one to the other, but try to be fair to this new person, and if he is as nice as you say then try to open up to him and explain what's going on with your feelings. My wife was in an abusive relationship before she met me and for a long time, she would compare me to her ex.

I loved my wife then and still do now because  I know that the only thing that will cure a broken heart is time. Life is too short to worry about the little things in life. Give yourself some credit and like I said before, look in the mirror and smile.....It really does work.
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This will defiantly take time for you to get over, time will heal your wounds, first thing you need to do is make very sure if you really love your current boyfriend is not to compare him to that piece of crap you were with at one time, that will cause friction in your current relationship eventually, enjoy who you are with right now, and realize how good you got it, try also not to ever bring up your ex,

the more you think about him the more it will interfere with what you have now, its a tough battle, but if you fight it and stay strong you can win, just remember everything you learned from the bad relationship and apply it to make your current relationship good, take it a day at a time and make sure you look forward and not back, think about this also, the karma factor, he will get what's coming to him if he hasn't already, I guarantee you he regrets his mistakes.

Keep your head up, and enjoy the relationship you have now, put all your focus into what you have now, not what you had in the past.
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Honey, It is time to move on and I know that it is a lot easier said than done but if this guy is willing to be constantly compared, pushed away, and still is been waiting for two months just to be with you then go for it. You are worthy of a good guy and you deserve to be happy. Let go of the past and concentrate on the future.

Best of wishes to you
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You just need to give this guy a chance. He seems really sweet. Just forget about all the stuff your ex said to you because it wasn't true. Once you start a relationship with this guy you will eventually be able to move on with your life.
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hey well, I'm really sorry you had to go through that but umm i think that you need to give the new guy a chance because he seems really sweet and plus he i willing to help you and just remember not all guys are the same. your lucky you got a good one that wants to be with you. good luck and sorry again.
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Sounds as though you have found a very nice and caring guy. Go back to therapy and work things out.
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The only way to move on is to deal with your emotions. If you trust yourself that this guy will be worth it, then go for it. Trust you're instincts. The best guys to date are the ones that is themselves, not someone who they aren't.

Ask yourself, will this guy be worth it? You must be sure that you're going to devote yourself to him, to accompany him, be with him, care for him, love him, etc. If you are certain that this guy will treat you the same way you expect to be treated, then go for it.
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..Vickie darling....my ex GF verbally accused me of being emotionally abusive to her too,......she did this after she had left me, and was directly blaming me for her own torrid affairs and stuff too sweetie.....I did go to counseling afterward to find out how the heck I was abusing her unknowingly.

Come to find out afterward actually that she has some major personality disorders that were unintentionally making her actually emotionally abuse me too..........so go see a therapist find out what the REAL mental abuse stems from darling.

It might be something else honestly!
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you're comparing a great guy to a dumb sss you're having trouble choosing who you should be with, you're used to be treated like crap, you complain about it, you have someone who will treat you the way you should be treated, are you saying there is nothing that will please you. STAY WITH THE NICE GUY   don't be a dumb sss yourself
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